Couple Fun – Make a Wish Jar

Flyboy and I enjoying junking together. Using the ads in the paper, we carefully plot out our adventure visiting yard, garages and barns. We find all sorts of treasures. I love to collect jars... clear, glass jars to display candies and cookies. I found a unique and fun idea using jars.

Couples often look for ways to entice a partner to expand his or her perspectives on the possibilities in or even out of the bedroom. Often planning a special romantic evening as a surprise for your honey often doesn’t go as arranged. Kids, pets, families, work… so many things may interrupt. It would be much easier to plan something with your partner rather than planning a surprise.

Keep two “wish” jars in the kitchen, one for each or you. Next to them keep a stack of index cards. Whenever something comes to mind that would be fun to do together, it gets written down on an index card and dropped into the appropriate jar.

Create a ritual for the “big drawing”. At the beginning of each month, sit down at the end of the day with a glass of wine and some cheese. Pick five cards at random from each other’s jar. Read them over, talk about them and maybe even negotiate a bit.  The only rule is you have to agree on two activities to be done during the next month.

Start your jar today for some fun!

Secrets to a Great Sex Life

There often comes a time in a relationship where life in the bedroom becomes stagnant or even dormant. The older women become the more conscious they become of the changes in their bodies. In both partners, sex changes and evolves. Desire is a complex and dynamic construct associated with many factors including environment, genetics, hormones, brain chemistry, sexual history, psychological well-being, physical health, and more.

Here are a few tips to “go with the flow” and continue to have a great sex life.

1. Let go of outdated gender expectations. Some Victorian-era beliefs about sex still linger in our collective unconscious, like the double standard that a man who enjoys sex is a player while a woman who enjoys sex is branded as a slut. Women used to be told by their doctors to not have sex after a certain age, but we are now finding out women actually become more sexual after their childbearing years. A sex drive is an incredibly powerful energetic gift to be embraced.

2. Start again. If you've been in a relationship for many years, you pretty much know what turns you on - but will have forgotten to change the formula. Men and women change, physically, emotionally and mentally. Be open to know ideas and trying new things. Talk about what you want, what you'd like, get more adept at expressing it. And ask your partner to talk about what he wants as well.

3. Practice honest sexual communication. Openly talking about sex may be difficult for some who have been conditioned to feel shame and embarrassment about sexual desires and bodies. If you are struggling with sexual communication, or if your partner does not listen, this might be an indicator of problems to come. Be honest and hold the space for open dialogue by remaining emotionally grounded, calm and non-reactive. Respect each other’s needs by listening and acknowledging, and agree to make mutual satisfaction and sexual fulfillment your main goals.

4. Love yourself. Try to exercise regularly to improve health, appetite and sleeping problems. Try relaxation techniques with yoga and meditation. Focus on loving yourself and feeling gratitude for your sexual body and all the joy it can bring you. Remember, you are beautiful and your sexuality is a divine, sacred blessing.

5. Have some fun with role play. It can be something as simple as meeting in a pub pretending not to know each other. Take on new personae. You can be anyone - someone from the other side of the world, someone who has run away to join a circus, whoever you want. And you'll be spinning a complete story, but your unconscious will be coming out too. And you'll be learning to play again. Forgetting how to have fun is the death-knell to many a long-term sex life.

6. Make your love life a priority. Sex is a sacred spiritual act as much as it is a physical and emotional one. Communication and commitment are perhaps the most important factors to maintain the balance of sex and love. "The real secrets here are communication and commitment," says sexual psychotherapist, Paula Hall. "You've both got busy lives, you're up to your neck in kids and their needs, and you've stopped prioritizing your sex lives. By committing to sex, you're making a really important statement to your partner. "

Take a Sunday Drive & Get Lost

“Sunday is the day that clears away the rust of the week” – Joseph Addison

Many Sundays of my childhood were spent going for a Sunday Drive. I was born late in life to my parents. My siblings were both married with their own families. When my parents should have been enjoying life just the two of them...they had me. I sat in the backseat usually lapping away at an ice-cream cone while my parents sat in the front, holding hands. I grew older and chose to stay home or hang with friends, they continued their Sunday drives.

When my guy and I were first married, we often took off for an aimless drive and often stumbled upon farmers’ markets, out-of-the-way antique shops, or simply “the most beautiful road”.

I have to admit, taking off without a destination on a quiet Sunday afternoon is only a dream for hubby and I. Our weekends are currently tied up with son’s baseball tournaments. Trust me as soon as the season is over…. Grab the keys honey!

When it’s just you and your honey, tooling around town or simply exploring the countryside it still feels as if you had a real getaway. This is great “Couple Time”. This sharing and discovery time makes the world better and often a relationship stronger.

Being a 48yr Old Sex Kitten

Today I am celebrating the second anniversary of my 24nd birthday.   So does that mean I'm old?  Over the hill?  At the end of my youth?  With life expectancy around 86... I guess I've only passed the middle.

I've discussed this "age issue" with my friends and we have agreed on several points.  The kids are growing, hubby is still sexy, secrets are safe with friends, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, and life is great!  We ARE like fine wine. We are much smarter and don't waste time with silly people.

I feel sexier now than I did when I was 24.  I've worked on being a woman for 48 years and I'm getting better at it.  The girls are still perky and I like my curves. I'm a warrior in the battle with my hormones as I approach the infamous “change”. 

40-something is the new 20-something!  According to relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam, co-author of The Joy of Sex, "There's plenty of research that shows sex gets better for women as they get older. It's one of the best-kept secrets of women's lives." 

Keep a positive attitude and be the creature of experience. Take pleasure in each other, laugh, explore, and be sensitive to each other’s needs as well as point of exhaustion. Orgasms may become more frequent and intense, touch may feel more sensitive, and sex may become more playful and more meaningful. Enjoy it, live it, and love it.  Pull out those silk scarves, handcuffs, and all those things you were too afraid to try 10 years ago! 

Jane Polden, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with middle-aged women, says “Older women are more confident of who they are, and it's a deep-seated confidence, which means they're not scared of intimacy, and they're not scared of going all out for what they need to feel satisfied."

A woman in her 40's can be a provocative sex kitten (or a cougar - a lot of young men are excited about being with a 40+ woman. Think of the film, The Graduate, released in 1967.)  She is sure of herself and the skin she lives in.  Sex is fun, life is good... it only gets better.

In conclusion to my meanderings, I think being 40-something is hot.  Hubby thinks so too.  

Tasty Tuesday–Spike Your Cocoa

Last week the temps here in Michigan were flirting with zero. My friends in Minnesota experienced frigid temps. (Lets look for a baby boom in nine months.) Cold temp means opportunity to warm up by cuddling with a mug of hot chocolate.

I have a hot cocoa station in my kitchen for the kids. I found some decorative canning jars and filled them with various ingredients. Powder cocoa mix, mini marshmallows, flavored creamer. Keep mugs or cups handy. Use mugs with names to prevent confusion or use a variety of cups for fun.

 

 

 

For the adults, keep flavored schnapps handy. A shot of peppermint is delicious. My favorite is Michigan Cherry liqueur – tastes like a hot chocolate covered cherry!

 

 

For a bit of romance… sip a mug of spiked hot cocoa while cuddling with your honey. 

Fun Friday - Couple Fun

Sexy games can bring the spice back to any relationship. Perhaps you once had a terrific sex life, but the hassles of day-to-day existence have made sex less of a priority.

 Set some ground rules before playing sexy games. Both partners must be able to end the game at any time, for any reason. 

Setting up "safe words." Some couples find that particularly during role-playing games, a “safe word” helps their confidence level. A safe word is a word that is not likely to come up during your game session. 

Either partner can use the safe word at any time as a sign to end the game immediately. It is extremely important that both partners respect each other enough to respect the use of the safe word and end the game without question.

Respect each other's vulnerability. Never laugh at your partner when playing sexy games. Some of the situations may be silly and certainly giggling can be a healthy part of a good sex life. But laughing at your partner may cause him to clam up and be unwilling to participate in future sexy games. 

People tend to be particularly vulnerable during sexual situations, so always treat your partner with tenderness and respect.

How To Initiate Sexy Games
If you have difficulty broaching the idea of sexy games with your partner, ease into the conversation using any of a variety of tactics. Broach the subject of a magazine article you may have read. Another way to ease your partner into the idea of sexy games is with a simple but meaningful present. 

Instead of the usual tie or sweater for the next holiday, give him a card containing 52 “love coupons.” Each coupon can be redeemed for whatever sexy act is depicted on the card. Tell him that he is entitled to redeem one coupon a week for the next year.

Enjoy yourself and enjoy your partner.

As you and your partner gain confidence, you can move into progressively more wild sexy games. Sexy games should not be the sole focus of your sex life, but can bring new life into one that has begun to stagnate.

Thursday 13- Cheap Summertime Date Ideas

Doing activities together strengthen the bonds in a relationship. However, not everything has to lead to lovemaking, simply being together doing non-romantic things gives a relationship a boost. Social science researches have discovered key activities that seem to help couples stay healthily bonded.

* Taking on a challenge together

*Being active together

*Sharing interest or exploring new ones

*Celebrating or learning more about your partner

*Doing the sexy stuff

*Making time for talking and laughing

Here is my list of 13 Cheap Date Ideas:

1. Visit your childhood... 

visit your old elementary schools, climb on the monkey bars. Share stories about your childhoods.

2.Take a camping class....

North Face, Columbia, Coleman and Bass Pro shops offer one day Camping 101 classes.

3. Just get in the car and drive...

Pick up some iced coffees or ice cream cones and go for a drive. Need a destination? Open a map, close your eyes and put a pin on the map and see where you might head off to.

4. Picnic...

Pack a picnic and head to a park. A change of scenery is nice.

5.Visit an observatory...

Many are open to the public once a month for free or a small fee. Some include lectures or concerts.

6. Find a night program at a park...

Many state and national parks offer nighttime programs such as moonlight hikes and star gazing.

7. Take dancing lessons...

many dance studios and clubs offer free dance once-a-week classes.

8. Volunteer...

Habitat for Humanity has programs running all summer long.

9. Reenact your first date...

If you can't go back to the original location, simply get creative.

10. Go shopping...

You don't have to save shopping for when you need something, but go just to go and not be interrupted by kids. Enjoy the ability to look at everything. Don't be afraid to get a little silly... just don't get thrown out by security.

11. Go to a community event….

Concerts in the park and outdoor movies are common in many areas. 

12. Attend a local movie festival…

See one-of-a-kind movies shown in smaller venues.

13. Visit your local coffee shop…

They often host local poets and authors for readings as well as musicians.

CLICK HERE for more Thursday 13

Monday Mojo - Sexual Daydreaming

At any given time, 25% of people are daydreaming about sex.

Daydreaming is one of the most common things we do, and also one of the most private – in a survey carried out at the University of Minnesota, 80 per cent of people said they would rather admit to an embarrassing experience than reveal their daydreams.

The most common sexual daydreams women admit to:
1. Sex with another man - usually a celebrity
2. Ménage à trois
3. Domination
4. Sex with a woman
5. Last but not least: Sex with your guy


Daydreaming is actually healthy and can be good for your sex life. You see... daydreaming exercises imagination which is very important for a healthy mind. Besides, a little imagination in the bedroom is a good thing.  

Thursday 13 - Sexy New Year's Resolutions

So many New Year Resolutions are made and quickly forgotten. Not only are these promises easily forgotten when we are caught up in the hustle of everyday life, but also we can forget about the love in our lives. Try making a few resolutions that won't be forgotten and easily obtainable. Make your relationship with that special someone a priority, put pleasure first on your resolution list.

1.  Plan to have more sex. We schedule time to shop, get our hair done, and take the kids to soccer... Being spontaneous is not always easy and by some simple plans to be more sexual, you'll actually end up having more sex. 

2. Get away from it all. Send the kids away for the weekend or escape for a night alone. Grab a movie, dinner and a romp in a cheap hotel. Use this time to NOT talk about family, friends or work. Focus on each other.

3. Do some redecorating in the bedroom. Our surrounding have a significant impact on how we feel. Turn your bedroom into a sensual room. Add some sexy satins, new pillows, mirrors, incense or candles, artwork to create an environment to bring out your sexual animal.

4.  Exercise more. I'm talkin' the horizontal mambo three /four times a week. Not only are calories being burned in a super fun way, but with each orgasmic session your endorphins (the chemical in your brain that makes you happy) will do miracles for your mood and zest for life!

5. Stop the sensory deprivations. Get off the computer; turn off the cell phone, put down the e-reader. It's time to get your hands into life! Cook with your honey and savor every tasty moment. Inhale life's scents and enjoy the fragrance of the world around you whether it is a sensual perfume or the way the air smells after a rain shower. Gaze into your partner's eyes and drown in the lipid pools of desire.  

6. Save your money and give each other full body massages. Invest in some scented massage candles and let your inhibitions fly out the window. Pick up some edible massage oil. Don't leave out the happy ending!

7. Eat in bed. Whipped cream, chocolate body paint, honey dust! Decadent and suggestive foods coupled with steamy sex make a rather delicious combination.

8. Make food a sensual part of your life. Forget the chips and go for the juicy, creamy and succulent stuff. Fresh strawberries, ripe peaches, and bananas can be cut into bite sizes. Finger food can be very sensual; take your time eating to experience the textures and flavors. Savoring food can be great practice for savoring sex.

10.  Make yourself feel sexier every day. Go through your panty drawer and buy yourself some new sexier styles. Lose the flannels, the old rugby jersey and stop lounging about with holey socks. Try some sexy silk pajamas or simple lingerie you can wear under your clothes. Treating yourself to sexier underclothes will help you tap into your sexy side. Indulge in a new fragrance that makes your partner hot. Wax, shave, work out... whatever makes you feel good about yourself and sexy.

11.  Have an affair - with your partner of course!  Here's your chance to have fun with a sexual fantasy.    Share your fantasies with each other or create one together then act on them.  Dress  as a seductive stranger and meet at a secret location, hotel, or bar.  Have fun with costumes, they can be just what you need to get started.

12.  Get back to the basics.  Rediscover the art of kissing.  Spend a night simply "making out".  Just be careful if you go "parking".  Be open and honest with your partner by sharing what really turns you on.  Be romantic by leaving notes with hints and sexy suggestions where your honey will find them.  Take time to explore each other's bodies to learn likes and dislikes.  Be open to pleasure.

13.  Be more playful and creative.    Try something sexually new.  Play with sex toys.  Visit a swingers' club.  Get a book on sexual positions and try all of them at least once.  For a more spiritual sex life, study Kama Sutra.  Take a class on strip tease or belly dancing.  Pick up a couple sex games and play.  Feel free to visit your local adult store, the staff is very discreet and helpful.

CLICK HERE for more Thursday 13 from some amazing authors.

Tasty Tuesday - New Years Eve Dinner for Two

 

So, you’ve decided to skip the crowds and spend New Year’s Eve at home with your honey. These suggestions should go well with most types of champagne (in general, when serving champagne, it’s best to stick with lightly spiced Cantonese cuisine, particularly seafood dishes). If you’re serving wine, a German Riesling would be a good choice.

Start with some Spring Rolls as an appetizer. Feel free to nibble on them with some wine while preparing the main dish together.

Main Dish – Shrimp in Lobster Sauce

Ingredients:

• Fresh shrimp, deveined and butterflied, 10 - 15 per person
• 4 to 8 spring onion (green onions, scallions), chopped
• 2 large garlic cloves, chopped or minced
• 2 cups of chicken stock (2 cups water with chicken bouillon powder, or chicken broth)
• 4 tablespoons of sweet white wine, such as sweet Glen Ellen White Zinfandel
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 teaspoons sugar
• 2 1/2 tablespoons of Cornstarch and 1/2 cup of water
• 4 egg whites, beaten with 1/4 cup of water
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil for stir-frying
• 1 to 2 cups pork fried rice (1 cup for 2 people, 2 cups for 3 or more)
•  

Preparation:

Rinse the shrimp in warm water and pat dry. Rinse the spring onions, drain and chop. Chop or mince the garlic cloves.
Combine the chicken stock, white wine, soy sauce, and sugar and set aside. In a small bowl, dissolve the cornstarch into 1/2 cup water. Whisk the egg whites into 1/4 cup water and set aside.
  Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a wok, large pot, or frying pan or skillet on medium high to high heat.
Stir fry the garlic and spring onions for about 30 seconds to a minute, taking care not to burn the garlic.
Add the shrimp and stir fry for 2 minutes.
Add the chicken broth mixture, bring to a boil and boil about 1 minute.
Re-stir the cornstarch and water mixture and stir it into broth. Immediately afterward, slowly pour in the egg whites, breaking them up by gently stirring them with a fork (the author recommends stirring them twice across and then twice across again in a tic tack toe pattern). Be careful not to over stir the egg whites.
 

The dish is ready when the sauce begins to boil and thicken. Serve over the pork fried rice and steamed Snow Peas.

Be sure to have some Fortune Cookies for after the meal.

 

 

Friday’s Fantasy

 “Tell me your secret wish, your secret fantasy.” Sometimes going outside the norm and into a fantasy might be just what a couple needs to spice things up a bit. Some couples find acting out a story brings them closer together.

Some romantic fantasy tips:

*Share a story with your partner.  “Do you ever have a fantasy, sweet guy?” He will either say, “Are you kidding”?  Or “sure,” and that’s your cue.

*Think of two fantasies, one totally wild and the other quite mild.

*Share your fantasies.   “I’m thinking of a fantasy that involves being tied up in silk.”

*Touch his skin, and say, “Tell me your fantasy now.”  But, when you do this, be sure you are unbuttoning his shirt and slipping your hand inside to touch his bare skin.

*Whisper, kiss, and tell:  “Let me read you a few fantasies and tell me what you think.  But first you won’t mind if I snuggle against you passionately, will you?”   Sometimes, and don’t be shocked, it is moments such as these that your guy will tell you about a little fun fetish. And maybe he wanted something from you but you brushed him away. Here is how to help you both find pleasure in fantasy and fetish

 

Thursday 13 - Tips for Autumn Romance

Fall is a beautiful time of year here in Michigan. I love the incredible palate of colorful trees and shrubbery. Nature’s pure fragrance of leaves and earth as well as the temptations of pumpkin pie, baked apples, and hot mulled cider create a wonderful setting. This time of year is also the time to pull out the winter woolies and time for some old fashion cuddling. It is a time for Autumn Romance.

Here are a few tips to help you leap into romance!

1.       Get football fever. As many of you know, I am a Football Mom to three boys and spend countless hours at their games.  Being at a game snuggled up to my honey under a stadium blanket while sharing hot cocoa helps us capture a bit of romance.  When I look around during the game, I see we are not the only couple using the opportunity.

2.       Plan a special morning. Romance isn’t just for nighttime. Make a special breakfast. Pack it into a picnic basket and eat outside or visit your local cider mill and enjoy some cider and doughnuts.

3.       Enjoy the patio at night. Or build a bonfire for two. Curl up together under a blanket and sip a cup of hot apple cider.

4.       Rake leaves. This is something the whole family can do. Rake a pile of leaves and yes…. Jump in!  It’s not just for kids.  Let your hair down and play!  Laughing is great foreplay.

5.       Hit the trails. Go for a walk holding hands or a nice bike ride. Stop periodically to enjoy the view. This is a great way to stay in shape and relieve tension as well as giving you a chance to talk.  However, if you come to a hill… I dare you to roll down it!

6.       Go camping. Try it in your own backyard.  Cook outside on a grill or over a bonfire.  Enjoy the fresh air and each other.

7.       Visit a carnival, county fair or craft show. Wander around holding hands and nibbling on Elephant Ears.

8.       Have a fireside picnic. Slip into something sexy. Pour your favorite wine and play your favorite love songs.

9.       Go on a hayride. Many apple orchards offer hay rides through November. Night time hay rides are very romantic. Enjoy a scenic tour while sitting close to each other and holding hands like a couple of teenagers. 

10.   Visit a local vineyard.  Many offer tours through December. Take advantage of their sampling room and select a bottle to take home.

11.   Take a train ride.  In Michigan we have the Snow Train that runs only during the winter. However, many areas offer special color tours and dinners. Check with your local railroads for more information.

12.   Go apple picking. Whether it’s at an orchard or your own backyard, pick some apples together then head into the kitchen for some fun. Make an apple pie and crack open some whipped cream. Just make sure to leave enough whipped cream to have on the pie! *wink, wink*

13.   Go for a stroll in a park. Take time to let your inner child out. Play hopscotch or push each other on the swings.

CLICK for more Thursday 13 fun.

 

Sensual Saturday - How to Have a 1 Night Stand

I love writing and reading books from the 1 Night Stand series. I'm sure by now many of you are hooked on these stories. But how would you like to have a 1 Night Stand of your own with the honey you've been with through thick and thin, tears and laughter, kids and pets?

 

Pick a nice quiet night when it’s just the two of you.  

Cold autumn nights are perfect for a fire in the fireplace.

Here's how to start... darken a large room, perhaps the living room. Be sure the room is lit by firelight and/or candles. If you use scented candles, select vanilla or spice. Toss some fluffy pillows onto the floor. (I suggest satin in jewel tones.)  Spread a soft blanket or two next to the pillows.( Blankets should be fleece or Indian blankets. Avoid busy designs, itchy wool or children’s patterns.) Bravo if you have a fur rug and use it for what it's meant to be used for!

 Romantic lighting, sensual fabrics, you just need skin to skin contact and you are all set for a deeply intimate encounter.  Hmm…sounds nice doesn’t it? 

Truly enjoy that special alone time with your honey, pour a couple glasses of wine and drop your clothes. It’s time for some Floor Play!

Lie down and get comfortable. Spend some time slowly exploring each other.

Time to heat things up a bit. Blindfold your honey and straddle him, letting your legs rest along side of his body.  Begin by dripping warmed massage oil over his body, rubbing it in with long sensual strokes.  The key to sensual massage is to adore every inch of your partner’s body.  Enchant his senses by varying the intensity of your touch and being creative.  Use your fingertips, knuckles, and the heel of your hand, your elbows, and your forearms. 

Tease him with an ostrich feather from head to toe, and then pleasure him orally for a few moments.  Go back to massaging him.  Slip a piece of ice into your mouth and let it melt.  Delight his senses with your cold mouth on his hot body.

Rip off his blindfold (or not) and have your way with him. 

Repeat this process only with you wearing the blindfold.  Ask him to drip wine down your back then lick it off for an erotic effect.

Enjoy your 1 Night Stand with each other!

 

Be sure to enter my contest for a chance to win a copy of Handcuffs & Silk

or

Bed of Roses Seduction Kit

 

 

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Thursday 13 - Date Night Ideas

 Fall is a busy time of the year, especially if you have kids. Unfortunately couples have to schedule time together. I asked the gal in my coffee club what they like to do with their honey when they have a Date Night. Here's some of their ideas. 

1. Go to a movie. The movie theater is a great opportunity to relax, hold hands, and unwind.

2. Go out to eat, sit and talk. Catch up with each other without any interruptions.

3. Have a picnic at a lake or in a park under the moonlight. Bring along an extra blanket to add a little romance.

4. Go for a walk in a different neighborhood.  My honey & I used to enjoy walking in a ritzy area of town and pick out our dream homes and cars.

5. Go to the mall, grab a cup of coffee and window shop.

6. Holding hands while walking in the park.

7. Visit a coffee shop you've never been to.

8. Attend a poetry reading or a special event at a local bookstore.

9. Cuddle in the back of a truck on a back road under a starry sky.

10. Laying by the fireplace with romantic music and candlelight.

11. Go out dancing.

12. Have a candlelight dinner, and dance in your own living room. 

13. Sit on the porch sipping wine, sharing a snack and talking.