Sunday, March 1, 2015

Being a 48yr Old Sex Kitten

Today I am celebrating the second anniversary of my 24nd birthday.   So does that mean I'm old?  Over the hill?  At the end of my youth?  With life expectancy around 86... I guess I've only passed the middle.

I've discussed this "age issue" with my friends and we have agreed on several points.  The kids are growing, hubby is still sexy, secrets are safe with friends, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, and life is great!  We ARE like fine wine. We are much smarter and don't waste time with silly people.
I feel sexier now than I did when I was 24.  I've worked on being a woman for 48 years and I'm getting better at it.  The girls are still perky and I like my curves. I'm a warrior in the battle with my hormones as I approach the infamous “change”. 

40-something is the new 20-something!  According to relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam, co-author of The Joy of Sex, "There's plenty of research that shows sex gets better for women as they get older. It's one of the best-kept secrets of women's lives." 

Keep a positive attitude and be the creature of experience. Take pleasure in each other, laugh, explore, and be sensitive to each other’s needs as well as point of exhaustion. Orgasms may become more frequent and intense, touch may feel more sensitive, and sex may become more playful and more meaningful. Enjoy it, live it, and love it.  Pull out those silk scarves, handcuffs, and all those things you were too afraid to try 10 years ago! 

Jane Polden, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with middle-aged women, says “Older women are more confident of who they are, and it's a deep-seated confidence, which means they're not scared of intimacy, and they're not scared of going all out for what they need to feel satisfied."

A woman in her 40's can be a provocative sex kitten (or a cougar - a lot of young men are excited about being with a 40+ woman. Think of the film, The Graduate, released in 1967.)  She is sure of herself and the skin she lives in.  Sex is fun, life is good... it only gets better.

In conclusion to my meanderings, I think being 40-something is hot.  Hubby thinks so too.  

Monday, February 23, 2015

Secrets to a Great Sex Life

There often comes a time in a relationship where life in the bedroom becomes stagnant or even dormant. The older women become the more conscious they become of the changes in their bodies. In both partners, sex changes and evolves. Desire is a complex and dynamic construct associated with many factors including environment, genetics, hormones, brain chemistry, sexual history, psychological wellbeing, physical health, and more.

Here are a few tips to “go with the flow” and continue to have a great sex life.

1. Let go of outdated gender expectations. Some Victorian-era beliefs about sex still linger in our collective unconscious, like the double standard that a man who enjoys sex is a player while a woman who enjoys sex is branded as a slut. Women used to be told by their doctors to not have sex after a certain age, but we are now finding out women actually become more sexual after their childbearing years. A sex drive is an incredibly powerful energetic gift to be embraced.
2. Start again. If you've been in a relationship for many years, you pretty much know what turns you on - but will have forgotten to change the formula. Men and women change, physically, emotionally and mentally. Be open to know ideas and trying new things. Talk about what you want, what you'd like, get more adept at expressing it. And ask your partner to talk about what he wants as well.

3. Practice honest sexual communication. Openly talking about sex may be difficult for some who have been conditioned to feel shame and embarrassment about sexual desires and bodies. If you are struggling with sexual communication, or if your partner does not listen, this might be an indicator of problems to come. Be honest and hold the space for open dialogue by remaining emotionally grounded, calm and non-reactive. Respect each other’s needs by listening and acknowledging, and agree to make mutual satisfaction and sexual fulfillment your main goals.
4. Love yourself. Try to exercise regularly to improve health, appetite and sleeping problems. Try relaxation techniques with yoga and meditation. Focus on loving yourself and feeling gratitude for your sexual body and all the joy it can bring you. Remember, you are beautiful and your sexuality is a divine, sacred blessing.
5. Have some fun with role play. It can be something as simple as meeting in a pub pretending not to know each other. Take on new personae. You can be anyone - someone from the other side of the world, someone who has run away to join a circus, whoever you want. And you'll be spinning a complete story, but your unconscious will be coming out too. And you'll be learning to play again. Forgetting how to have fun is the death-knell to many a long-term sex life.
6. Make your love life a priority. Sex is a sacred spiritual act as much as it is a physical and emotional one. Communication and commitment are perhaps the most important factors to maintain the balance of sex and love. "The real secrets here are communication and commitment," says sexual psychotherapist, Paula Hall. "You've both got busy lives, you're up to your neck in kids and their needs, and you've stopped prioritizing your sex lives. By committing to sex, you're making a really important statement to your partner. "

Friday, February 20, 2015

Friday Fun - Meet Author Kristen Strassel

How cool would it be to share the same birthday as Steven Tyler and Diana Ross? Our guest today certainly does! I think the stars were in a musical line for her when she created her rock-n-roll stories in the Night Songs Collection and the Spotlight Series. A member of my street team loves her just because they share BonJovi as their all-time favorite band.

Give a special welcome to author Kristen Strassel!

Thanks for joining us today, Kristen. Many know you write New Adult (NA), comtemporary, and paranormal stories. Love those hot vamps and shifters! So tell us a little about your work. 
How long have you been writing? 
I’ve been writing all my life. My writing partner, Julie Hutchings, and I grew up together. I won’t say that I’m old, but there was no internet.  We used to entertain ourselves by passing a notebook back and forth, each adding a couple of paragraphs to a story.  I’d tried to write the book that became Because the Night for years. I even moved to Vegas to do it! But I didn’t know how to write a book yet. I couldn’t get past the first few chapters.

 Fast forward to the summer of 2011 when Julie told me she’d been working on her first book, Running Home. We worked together, and both books are now published.

How many books have you published?
The voices in my head talk a lot. There are four and a half books available in The Night Songs Collection: Seasons in the Sun (novella), Because the Night, Night Moves, We Own the Night, and Silent Night. Secondhand Heart is the first book in my contemporary series, The Spotlight, with The Trouble with Bree (novella) and Too Many Reasons both releasing in the first two months of 2015.  I also have a couple of shifter novellas available: Lion and the Doe and Doe and the Hunter.

Gotta love those voices, they can get pretty demanding at times or throw curves at us.  Now let's get to the dirt of things. How naughty do you get with your writing?  
 Pretty naughty! I think one reviewer recently called one of my scenes “downright dirty.” I’m not sure if she meant it as a compliment, but it made me smile. Even better, the reader never “saw” what she was referring to. While some scenes, like that particular one, do fade to black, the reader does come into the bedroom with my characters. My characters explore some very light fetish type stuff, but most of it is good old fashioned sex.

It sounds like the love and romance in your stories will appeal to a wide range of readers. Tell us about something that stands out more than others. What’s the best thing you’ve ever written—the best line? 
I still enjoy “I’d just had unprotected sex with the world’s most irresponsible vampire.” But a new favorite of mine is in Too Many Reasons, wrapping up a sex scene: Like we’d entered the eye of the storm. That beautiful, peaceful place that we could lay together in the soft breeze and watch the thunder and lightning go off all around us.

Ahhh.... sorry, I was carried away for a moment. Say, if you could have any movie star take on a role as one of your heroes, who would it be? 
I actually have no opinion about this!  I’m totally oblivious when it comes to movie stars. I know, I’m weird.  Even better: I work in the film industry.

Oops, I almost feel off my chair laughing. Don't feel bad, I can never remember names of hotties and their movies. Maybe our brains just don't catalog hotness like some do. 
What are the hardest scenes to write for you?
I struggle with the beginning of every book. I don’t know my characters yet, and I find the place that I start writing isn’t always the beginning of the story.  Once I figure out what the characters are trying to say, things flow much better. If a scene is really a struggle, I consider how much value it actually adds to the story. Everything happens for a reason, right?

I'm a firm believer of that! 
Many authors do a bit of research for character building or story lines. What is the strangest thing you’ve Googled while working on a story?
I’ve googled the color that people turn when they’ve been strangled, a lot of things about witchcraft and freakshows, premature babies, what would cause a person to die from a car accident, weaponry….whoever’s been assigned to watching over my file in the CIA is definitely entertained.

Oh, I'm sure. LOL 
One of our readers just tweeted a question for you. "How close in real life have you gotten to one of your fantasies?"  
I have to plead the fifth on SOME things. LOL I’ve lived a pretty cool life so far. I do makeup for film and television. I’ve had a chance to meet some really cool people and see some really cool things. I’ve never been shy, and I’ve always been ambitious, so if I want something, I go for it.

You go girl!!!  Whoot-whoot!

And finally… anything you would like to share with us, an excerpt, a tidbit, or anything else about yourself?
Let’s see…two things I still want to learn: how to read tarot, and roller derby.

Fun stuff:
Favorite drink:  Coffee. I’m also a fan of wheat beer.
Favorite candy: dark chocolate covered cherries.
Favorite food: Lobster. But I will brake for avocado.
Favorite article of clothing or jewelry:  I love wearing boots, and I also always wear hoop earrings.
Favorite place to read: Laying in the sun. Heaven.
Place you want to visit some day: Iceland and Morocco. 

Thank you so much author Kristen Strassel for joining us today. I have a brand spanking new box of dark chocolate covered cherries here. I say let's put our booted feet up and enjoy a little decadence. 

Please visit Kristen on her website, Twitter and Facebook.

Check out her latest books for your weekend reading.
The trouble with Bree is... 
Bree Farrell is ready to turn her life around. A twenty-one-year-old mother of two, she's not sure where to start. She could use a little help, but her string of horrible ex-boyfriends keep setting her back. First step: she's swearing off men forever. Or at least until she gets back on her feet. 

Josh Maxwell got a second chance at life, and now he wants to help kids who are in the same situation he was in. His new job as the coordinator at a preschool for underprivileged kids is the perfect place to do that. 

On paper, the school policy for staff not to get involved with the families of the students makes perfect sense. But when Bree meets the new coordinator of her son's school, she and Josh learn that some rules are made to be broken, no matter what the consequences.

Abby Gauthier is close to getting everything she's worked so hard for. The band she manages, Sinister Riot, has been offered a major record contract. But it comes with a catch: the band must add Eli Jamison, winner of the talent show The Spotlight, to the lineup. 

Devon Sinclair is the singer of Sinister Riot, and he's Abby's best friend. She's in love with him, but fears she'll lose him if she makes the first move. Devon thinks adding Eli to the band is dangerous, and he's right. Eli's interested in more than just making an album. He wants to take control of the band, and he wants to get to know Abby better. A lot better. When tensions between Devon and Eli threaten to destroy Sinister Riot, Abby must act on her true feelings or lose everything she's ever wanted. 

Thursday, February 19, 2015

#Thursday13 - Cook Up Some Fun

I love to look at winter through my windows. Not being one for the cold, I try to spend one day a week in the kitchen cooking with my boys or some romance with hubby.  I think it’s good for our boys to see hubby & I having fun in silly ways. Our kids look forward to family time in the kitchen.

Here are a few ideas to cook up some fun.

1.      Be silly and wear an apron that says “Hot Stuff”…. Have hubby wear one that says “Grill Master”.

2.      Pickup the book Science Experiments You Can Eat from your library or local book store. Kids and grownups with have fun with this!  

3.      Wear shorts in the winter while making a Hawaiian dish.

4.      Find a fun Latin dish recipe and play salsa music. Dance in the kitchen.

5.      Try sipping a glass of red wine while cooking. Give the kids some non-alcoholic wine. 

6.       Yummy scents such as pumpkin, cinnamon, vanilla or even a batch of fresh cookies gets that blood flowing and the mouth watering. Find a recipe to make that can be eaten right away.

7.      Cut up fruits, sweet breads and or cookies to dip in chocolate. Try 'Nilla Waffers!  YUM!

8.      Cook with your honey. Use your fingers to mix ingredients, lick each others fingers, or have a food fight.

9.      Blindfold each other and taste test foods prepared with a variety of textures, tastes, and temperatures. Take turns feeding each other. One on one with your honey is romantic, with kids, this gets messy but a ton of fun.

10.  Play “Can you name this?” A blindfolded person tries to guess what various kitchen items and/or food items are.

11.  Can’t stop stirring that sauce? No problem! Delegate jobs. Give each person in the kitchen a chore to do – grade cheese, cut veggies, etc.

12.  Go to the store and purchase an unknown fruit or veggie. Go home look on line on ways to prepare it then head into the kitchen.

13.  Make a large batch of trail mix using your own ideas. Place a cup full in small bags and tie with colored ribbons or twine. Deliver to friends & relatives for a great mid-winter pick-me-up.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015


For Wet Wednesday, I couldn't decide on what to post.
After searching through my stable of hot guys,
I didn't find a wet one.
But I was thirsty, 
so I thought of a drink that would taste good.

Sex On The Beach

No... the other kind of sex on the beach.

Yeah, that's the ticket! 
I think I'll start Thirsty Thursday early.

1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Peach Schnapps
2 oz Cranberry Juice
2oz Orange Juice

Add vodka & peach schnapps to a highball glass over ice.
Fill with equal measures of cranberry & orange juice. Stir