#Thursday13 - Clip-n-Save Love Coupons

You know how I'm always leaving little love notes in Flyboy's bag when he leaves for trips. I thought I'd share a variety of "coupons" with you. 

Feel free to print, clip and use. Put one or more in your honey's Christmas stocking!

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3. 4.

 

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7. 8.

 

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13.

Be sure to visit The New Thursday 13 blog for more fun Thursday Thirteen!

Secrets to a Great Sex Life

There often comes a time in a relationship where life in the bedroom becomes stagnant or even dormant. The older women become the more conscious they become of the changes in their bodies. In both partners, sex changes and evolves. Desire is a complex and dynamic construct associated with many factors including environment, genetics, hormones, brain chemistry, sexual history, psychological well-being, physical health, and more.

Here are a few tips to “go with the flow” and continue to have a great sex life.

1. Let go of outdated gender expectations. Some Victorian-era beliefs about sex still linger in our collective unconscious, like the double standard that a man who enjoys sex is a player while a woman who enjoys sex is branded as a slut. Women used to be told by their doctors to not have sex after a certain age, but we are now finding out women actually become more sexual after their childbearing years. A sex drive is an incredibly powerful energetic gift to be embraced.

2. Start again. If you've been in a relationship for many years, you pretty much know what turns you on - but will have forgotten to change the formula. Men and women change, physically, emotionally and mentally. Be open to know ideas and trying new things. Talk about what you want, what you'd like, get more adept at expressing it. And ask your partner to talk about what he wants as well.

3. Practice honest sexual communication. Openly talking about sex may be difficult for some who have been conditioned to feel shame and embarrassment about sexual desires and bodies. If you are struggling with sexual communication, or if your partner does not listen, this might be an indicator of problems to come. Be honest and hold the space for open dialogue by remaining emotionally grounded, calm and non-reactive. Respect each other’s needs by listening and acknowledging, and agree to make mutual satisfaction and sexual fulfillment your main goals.

4. Love yourself. Try to exercise regularly to improve health, appetite and sleeping problems. Try relaxation techniques with yoga and meditation. Focus on loving yourself and feeling gratitude for your sexual body and all the joy it can bring you. Remember, you are beautiful and your sexuality is a divine, sacred blessing.

5. Have some fun with role play. It can be something as simple as meeting in a pub pretending not to know each other. Take on new personae. You can be anyone - someone from the other side of the world, someone who has run away to join a circus, whoever you want. And you'll be spinning a complete story, but your unconscious will be coming out too. And you'll be learning to play again. Forgetting how to have fun is the death-knell to many a long-term sex life.

6. Make your love life a priority. Sex is a sacred spiritual act as much as it is a physical and emotional one. Communication and commitment are perhaps the most important factors to maintain the balance of sex and love. "The real secrets here are communication and commitment," says sexual psychotherapist, Paula Hall. "You've both got busy lives, you're up to your neck in kids and their needs, and you've stopped prioritizing your sex lives. By committing to sex, you're making a really important statement to your partner. "

Being a 48yr Old Sex Kitten

Today I am celebrating the second anniversary of my 24nd birthday.   So does that mean I'm old?  Over the hill?  At the end of my youth?  With life expectancy around 86... I guess I've only passed the middle.

I've discussed this "age issue" with my friends and we have agreed on several points.  The kids are growing, hubby is still sexy, secrets are safe with friends, the grass is greener, the sky is bluer, and life is great!  We ARE like fine wine. We are much smarter and don't waste time with silly people.

I feel sexier now than I did when I was 24.  I've worked on being a woman for 48 years and I'm getting better at it.  The girls are still perky and I like my curves. I'm a warrior in the battle with my hormones as I approach the infamous “change”. 

40-something is the new 20-something!  According to relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam, co-author of The Joy of Sex, "There's plenty of research that shows sex gets better for women as they get older. It's one of the best-kept secrets of women's lives." 

Keep a positive attitude and be the creature of experience. Take pleasure in each other, laugh, explore, and be sensitive to each other’s needs as well as point of exhaustion. Orgasms may become more frequent and intense, touch may feel more sensitive, and sex may become more playful and more meaningful. Enjoy it, live it, and love it.  Pull out those silk scarves, handcuffs, and all those things you were too afraid to try 10 years ago! 

Jane Polden, a psychotherapist who specializes in working with middle-aged women, says “Older women are more confident of who they are, and it's a deep-seated confidence, which means they're not scared of intimacy, and they're not scared of going all out for what they need to feel satisfied."

A woman in her 40's can be a provocative sex kitten (or a cougar - a lot of young men are excited about being with a 40+ woman. Think of the film, The Graduate, released in 1967.)  She is sure of herself and the skin she lives in.  Sex is fun, life is good... it only gets better.

In conclusion to my meanderings, I think being 40-something is hot.  Hubby thinks so too.  

Monday Mojo - Sexual Intellect

44% of women find it impossible to enjoy sex 

with a man who is not their intellectual equal. 

Just 31% of men share this problem.

Fetish Friday - Gotta Have Those Shoes!

Do you and your honey like to role play? How about "Shoe Salesman"?

 

Have you ever bought a sexy pair of shoes?

A 19th Century opera started the tradition of a man drinking champagne out of the brides shoe. In 2009, a shoe manufacture made a glass shoe just for this purpose.

Sigmund Freud considered the foot binding practiced by the Chinese as a form of fetishism. Qing Dynasty sex manuals listed 48 different ways of playing with women's bound feet.

The movie There's Something About Mary featured a former boyfriend of Mary with a shoe fetish. He tried to steal her shoes.

In the animated comedy show Family Guy the character Glenn Quagmire has a foot and shoe fetish, among other fetishes.

 In Lady Gaga's music video "Paparazzi (explicit version)" by Johnas Akerlund there is a scene in which a man is licking the singer's black high heeled pump.

****************

FACT: According to psychologists, the shoe and the foot are the most common sources of sexual fetishism in Western society.

Hmm... come on ladies... we get pedicures, paint out toe nails, wear toe rings, and slide our feet into six inch heeled shoes... we know we like it.

Besides, foot rubs are divine!

Thursday 13 - Ways to Feel Sexy

Real sexiness is all about confidence and how you feel about yourself. It doesn't matter what your body shape is or the size of your dress. Sexy is a feeling from the inside and you can bring it out in simple ways.

 

1.      Wear lingerie that flatters you. Visit your local intimate apparel shop where they can measure your and find styles suitable. Lover’s Lane is great at helping you find that super sexy lingerie to hide scars or other unfavorable body spots.

2.      Wear silk panties under your jeans. Nobody knows they are there, but you do!  And it feels soooo niiiiice!

3.      Do your makeup and hair. Don’t look like a streetwalker or a runway model. Find something to flatter your face shape and eyes.

4.      Work out. Even a 20 min walk each day will  make you healthier and give you better posture. When you hold your head up your aura fills with confidence.

5.      Make note of items in your wardrobe that make you feel sexy. A white blouse? A pair of boots? Feel free to wear them often.

6.      Accept compliments regarding your looks and abilities.

7.      Learn more about pleasing your partner. Simply ASK.

8.      Be the dominant one in your next love-making session.

9.      Plan at least one sensual experience a week for your love. Work with the fives senses: taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing. Pick one and focus on it.

10.  Take a shower or a bubble bath with your honey.  Soaping each other up can be an erotic exploration. 

11.  If you're unsure about how to do something, become knowledgeable about it. Don’t be afraid to check out books or surf the Internet. Confidence is an incredible aphrodisiac.

12.  Allow yourself to feel sexy. Is there something that is hanging on to you, preventing you from relaxing about sex?

13.  Most importantly, don't worry about your appearance. Everyone has flaws; just no one else cares about them as much as you do.

 

Thank you DOVE for he outstanding campaign.

 

Thursday 13 - Sexy New Year Resolutions

So many New Year Resolutions are made and quickly forgotten. Not only are these promises easily forgotten when we are caught up in the hustle of everyday life, but also we can forget about the love in our lives. Try making a few resolutions that won't be forgotten and easily obtainable. Make your relationship with that special someone a priority, put pleasure first on your resolution list.

1.  Plan to have more sex. We schedule time to shop, get our hair done, and take the kids to soccer... Being spontaneous is not always easy and by some simple plans to be more sexual, you'll actually end up having more sex. 

2. Get away from it all. Send the kids away for the weekend or escape for a night alone. Grab a movie, dinner and a romp in a cheap hotel. Use this time to NOT talk about family, friends or work. Focus on each other.

3. Do some redecorating in the bedroom. Our surrounding have a significant impact on how we feel. Turn your bedroom into a sensual room. Add some sexy satins, new pillows, mirrors, incense or candles, artwork to create an environment to bring out your sexual animal.

4.  Exercise more. I'm talkin' the horizontal mambo three /four times a week. Not only are calories being burned in a super fun way, but with each orgasmic session your endorphins (the chemical in your brain that makes you happy) will do miracles for your mood and zest for life!

5. Stop the sensory deprivations. Get off the computer; turn off the cell phone, put down the e-reader. It's time to get your hands into life! Cook with your honey and savor every tasty moment. Inhale life's scents and enjoy the fragrance of the world around you whether it is a sensual perfume or the way the air smells after a rain shower. Gaze into your partner's eyes and drown in the lipid pools of desire.  

6. Save your money and give each other full body massages. Invest in some scented massage candles and let your inhibitions fly out the window. Pick up some edible massage oil. Don't leave out the happy ending!

7. Eat in bed. Whipped cream, chocolate body paint, honey dust! Decadent and suggestive foods coupled with steamy sex make a rather delicious combination.

8. Make food a sensual part of your life. Forget the chips and go for the juicy, creamy and succulent stuff. Fresh strawberries, ripe peaches, and bananas can be cut into bite sizes. Finger food can be very sensual; take your time eating to experience the textures and flavors. Savoring food can be great practice for savoring sex.

10.  Make yourself feel sexier every day. Go through your panty drawer and buy yourself some new sexier styles. Lose the flannels, the old rugby jersey and stop lounging about with holey socks. Try some sexy silk pajamas or simple lingerie you can wear under your clothes. Treating yourself to sexier underclothes will help you tap into your sexy side. Indulge in a new fragrance that makes your partner hot. Wax, shave, work out... whatever makes you feel good about yourself and sexy.

11.  Have an affair - with your partner of course!  Here's your chance to have fun with a sexual fantasy.    Share your fantasies with each other or create one together then act on them.  Dress  as a seductive stranger and meet at a secret location, hotel, or bar.  Have fun with costumes, they can be just what you need to get started.

12.  Get back to the basics.  Rediscover the art of kissing.  Spend a night simply "making out".  Just be careful if you go "parking".  Be open and honest with your partner by sharing what really turns you on.  Be romantic by leaving notes with hints and sexy suggestions where your honey will find them.  Take time to explore each other's bodies to learn likes and dislikes.  Be open to pleasure.

13.  Be more playful and creative.    Try something sexually new.  Play with sex toys.  Visit a swingers' club.  Get a book on sexual positions and try all of them at least once.  For a more spiritual sex life, study Kama Sutra.  Take a class on strip tease or belly dancing.  Pick up a couple sex games and play.  Feel free to visit your local adult store, the staff is very discreet and helpful.

Author's Note: My favorite shop is Lovers' Lane.  I feel comfortable working with the staff and have enjoyed every purchase! 

HAVE A SEXY NEW YEAR!

Wet & Wild Wednesday

The days are shorter and the nights are getting colder. Make time to pamper yourself with a bath.

 

 

Warm up on a chilly night in an extravagant array of bubbles. If you're a single person, treat yourself to a bit of romance in the tub.  If you're not one for bubbles, try a bath soak.  Bath soaks are usually a blend of ingredients you add to your bath water to create a desired effect, such as a sore muscle soak, stress-easing soak or relaxation soak. Most bath and body and drug stores carry bath soak products. Pour yourself a glass of wine, light some candles, grab a steamy romance novel to read or your favorite BOB.  (wink, wink)

 

For couples, a languishing dip in a steamy tub for two is enough to inspire romance for even the stodgiest of lovers. If you're worried about interruptions, arrange your water play encounter at a time when you can be together alone. A great way to do this and create the perfect memorable night is staying at hotel with a spa or Jacuzzi tub in your room.  Give each other the ultimate bath and spa experience with a little basket filled with spa items from you local bath and body shop.  Don't let the romance stop after the bath. Give each other a light, lotion-laden massage.

ENJOY!

1 Night Stand Blog Hop - Handcuffs & Silk

Handcuffs.

Hard, cold metal links used by cops to restrain criminals. - That doesn’t sound like fun.

May also be used for fun sexual games. - Now we’re talking!

 Handcuffs is an important items used by the characters in my book, Handcuffs & Silk. This 1 Night Stand story features a lady cop…thus the handcuffs. *wink, wink*

Stephanie "Stiff" Johnson, is a tough Las Vegas cop who many men find too intimidating to date. Steph begins to wonder if something is wrong with her so she turns to Madame Eve to find a man who could be the yin to her yang, even if it's just for one night.

Hunter Morgan left behind years of living as a sub to a female Domme in New York. Upon return to his hometown, he questions whether he wants to continue with the "lifestyle" or find something different. Turning to 1 Night Stand, he hopes to sample his options.

A simple one-night stand opens a whole new sensuous world to both.

Understanding your own sexuality and needs along with appreciating an amazing partner can lead to some wonderful adventures.

There are over 70 different models of handcuffs to choose from and that’s not even counting vintage sets collectors hold onto.  However, for sexual bondage and BDSM activities, special bondage cuffs with softer restraints are more comfortable.

The easiest and most common method of using cuffs is binding the hands to the bed, person laying on his/her back. It is also the most secure method of using as virtually zero pressure being put on your wrists. The pose grants high safety and full access to most tender parts of cuffed body.

Binding wrists in front of the body is almost as safe, and bound person can stand, lay and sit on his/her stomach and back with no or little discomfort. Pay attention to moving with handcuffs locked; do not make any abrupt moves. It's difficult to balance with wrists restrained together, and the "cop" should be ready to help falling body.

Hands behind the back is the best position if you wish to “control” the partner, it allows the least grade of freedom. Very difficult to keep balance and falling can cause bad hurt, so pay a lot of attention.

Tips:

            * At all times use cuffs that have double lock feature.

            *Avoid cheap handcuffs, they can jam or become too tight.

            * Use handcuffs with someone you completely trust.

            * Make sure you speak to your partner before hand.

            * Have a safe word in any kind of role-playing; use this word if any play becomes               uncomfortable.

EXCERPT:
Hunter moved into the other room and lay still on the bed with his arms at his sides, silently waiting when Steph walked into the room. His eyes focused on the ceiling, his erection jutting upward, and she thought his nakedness a tribute to the gods or a meal spread out just for her. Dropping her purse, she straddled him, forcing his cock to lay between her and his belly.

"You have the right to remain silent." She clamped a handcuff roughly onto a wrist and raised both arms over his head to hook around the headboard rails then attached the remaining cuff to his free wrist. "Anything you say can and will be used against you for my pleasure."

The room filled with heat, yet the only sounds were their breathing, the creak of the bed, and the rasp of her boots as they brushed against his legs. She slid her hands under his back and he arched, inviting her to taste him. She ran her tongue across his belly, pausing to nip at each ridge of muscle, testing his sensitivity along the way to his nipples. Even though he didn’t make a sound, she knew his reaction by his hammering heart and the tremor of his skin.

Not wanting to miss an inch of skin, she took time exploring his chest and neck. His eyes still closed, he wore a smile as she nuzzled his neck and nipped at his earlobe. Parting her lips slightly, she placed feather-light kisses on his mouth, softly brushing his lips then pulling away to tease him with deeper kisses following.

 BUY IT NOW

Leave a comment for a chance to win a pdf of Handcuffs & Silk.

Be sure to visit all these other super hot authors in the 1 Night Stand Series.

 

1.	Jessica E. Subject (INT)	17.	Zee Monodee
2.	Kerry Adrienne	18.	Angela S Stone
3.	Heather Long	19.	Clarissa Yip
4.	Lia Davis	20.	Emily Cale
5.	C.R. Moss	21.	D L Jackson
6.	Jenna Jaxon	22.	Kate Richards
7.	V.S. Morgan	23.	Olivia Starke
8.	Stacey Kennedy	24.	Valerie Mann
9.	Diane Dooley	25.	Deena Remiel
10.	Shiela Stewart	26.	Liz Crowe
11.	Mary Quast	27.	Cara Bristol
12.	Arlene Webb	28.	Erykah Wyck (Int)
13.	Dominique Eastwick	29.	Becky Moore
14.	Cate Masters	30.	Stephanie Beck
15.	Kali Willows	31.	Ashlynn Monroe
16.	Barbara Elsborg	32.	J.M. Madden