Friday, November 8, 2013

Fetish Friday - A BDSM Virgin

This is a post previously featured on Romance Writers Behaving Badly.

I started wring a sweet romance about a one night stand between a lady cop and a lawyer but somewhere along the line the characters took over the story and sexed it up.  Bring out the leather and restraints... I was off to write about something I had no idea about.

So what did I do?

What any good author does... RESEARCH.  Here's where hubby had that Cheshire Cat grin. 
No, really... I poured over books (fiction & non-fiction), interviewed various Doms and subs then finally let my imagination go.

According to Wikipedia: "BDSM is a consensual lifestyle choice, or type of adult role-play between two or more individuals. The compound acronym, BDSM, is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D), dominance and submission (D&S), and sadism and masochism (S&M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures."

I found the best help on the subject (other than personal interviews) was the online site Seekers.  This site states, "D/s is a lifestyle choice, Domination and submission, where people live their lives opting by nature to be either Dominant or submissive. In a relationship the one complements the other and is based on the gift of submission, and absolute trust."  I must say this insight was not only helpful with my work, but I also thought the owners handled the subject in a fundamental and kindly manner.

Writing Handcuffs & Silk became a whole new experience for me and opened a door I always thought was best kept closed.   Not only did I become a better writer because of my research but I've also developed a sincere respect for my friends who delve into this world. 
(And hubby is still smiling.)
Never be afraid to ask questions, the answers may amaze you. 

1 comment:

Stevie MacFarlane said...

Mary, great article. My husband frequently comes into my office asking if "I want to do a little research" lol, so I know why your guy is smiling :) Hugs, Stevie