Friday, February 4, 2011

Waiting

One of Erick McAlister's best buds is Trevor Dillinger from the band Dark Cloud. There was a time when Erick's voice filled in for the voiceless bass player.


They stood next to each other behind their own microphones. Erick closed his eyes while Trevor nodded to start the music. The music consisted of soft dreamy sounds from keyboards, drums and controlled guitars that had been recorded earlier. Erick’s hands held the headphones he wore as he let out a scream that broke the beauty and tranquility of the music. As the anguished cry softened, Trevor’s voice came through close to a whisper.

“I gave you my heart; you gave it back to me in pieces.”

“Broken, like the man I am,” Erick added with his raspy voice.

“Sitting in silent darkness, afraid to trust, ashamed to love.”

“Broken, like the man I am.” Erick’s eyes never opened.

“Sitting in silent darkness, waiting for you to return to fix.”

“The broken man I am,” the pair sang together.

The music increased in volume and hard-driving instruments. Trevor’s face contorted with anger as his powerful voice gained strength.

“Don’t look back as you walk from me, you won’t like what you see, not the beast but only me.”

“A man dying and weak,” the pair sang.

“Our little arrangement became something true, you know it did, you felt it too. My insides tearing, ripping in two.”

“How could you? How could you?” Erick’s emotion came through his voice.

“You are something I can never have; you are all I ever see, sitting in my
silent darkness, please come back to me.”

“Sitting in silent darkness, please, please come back to me!” They turned
and yelled into the same microphone. Anguish showed on their faces.
Erick’s head dropped as Trevor’s voice softened to the near whisper
again.

“Sitting in my silent darkness, trying to disappear, chained by memories, waiting, wanting, needing you here.”

“Waiting in silent darkness, please, please come back to me!” Pain reflected in Erick’s words as he sang them alone before being joined by Trevor. “Waiting, waiting, waiting! Come back to me!”

The music faded and Erick let out another scream like the one that began the song. His face was full of anger and pain. She felt it. The room felt as if it was closing in, but she refused to let the others know she was affected.



To celebrate, I'm giving away two special items this month.
A signed copy of Tormented Soul and a gift from my favorite store, Lover's Lane.

All you have to do is leave a comment on any post from Feb.1st until midnight the 14 th, the holiday for love... Valentine's Day .

Names will be placed into a drawing and the winner will be picked and announced on February 15.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Thursday Thirteen - Quotes from Erick McAlister

1. Talking to his brother, Michael, on the phone. "Gotta have a Frisbee dog! That reminds me, can you send me a few disks? Penny used my best one as a teething toy.”

2. An email sent to Lynn. "Greetings from the Queen! I’m glad to hear everything is going well for you. I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds having Michael check up on you. But it sounds like he would have anyways. I’m glad to hear your date was so fun. Wish I could have been with you, what a sight my brother must have been! Singing in front of people! I would have made him mess up! Enjoy your ski trip with him. Let me know if he gets out of line. I’ll fly to NY and take care of him myself. I hope you’re sitting down when you read this… I bought a motorcycle. Can you believe it? Remember when I told you I wish I could ride like the motorcycle couriers in London? Well I ordered one similar to the bikes they use! I’ll take you for a ride when you visit! Penny sends slobbery kisses. Erick."

3.“I bought a bike and I want to hire you to teach me how to ride it. I’ll pay
you well for your time and your silence.”

4.“I want to feel the freedom you feel. I want happiness. I hate what I’ve
become. Every woman I date wants only one thing from me. Not one can see past
my money or my reputation.”

5.“Oh, baby! Do me good!” Erick wrapped his arms around Andrew’s
waist as he pretended to pump him.

6. “I’m going to fuck you, Lynn. That’s all it is. I’ll violate you. I’ll
penetrate you until I reach the soul of your being.”

7.“If this child is truly mine, he or she will be raised as a McAlister, in my
house. I’ll give you money all right, but for the baby. Not to run away!”

8.A real nerd, eh?” He whispered. “You must remember, I don’t just ‘do’
business in my office. I did you the other day. And I’ll do you over and over if you
come to my office again.”

9.“I canna sleep.” Erick lay down. “Every time I close my eyes I’ll see her
face, the pain, the tears. Why did I...? I knew I’d hurt her but I didn’t want to!
Especially like that! She hates me.”

10.“You don’t fight fair, Antonio,” Erick croaked.

11.“Andrew, what was done is in the past now. I never blamed you and never
will for what happened, or for my faults. I am responsible for what I’ve become.
We went through hell together and survived. We have the rest of our lives now.
You have Elizabeth; be happy. Live for your future.”

12. “Yeah, I get it.” Erick wiped his eyes. “My black heart is probably the
only virgin part on me.”

13. “No shit! I’m fucking angry! I can’t even fuck another woman without
seeing her face. I can’t stop wanting her. I’ll never have what I want. How can I
bring the broken pieces of my soul back together? He won’t let me.” Erick pointed
at his reflection. “The wretched beast!”

To celebrate, I'm giving away two special items this month.
A signed copy of Tormented Soul and a gift from my favorite store, Lover's Lane.

All you have to do is leave a comment on any post from Feb.1st until midnight the 14 th, the holiday for love... Valentine's Day .

Names will be placed into a drawing and the winner will be picked and announced on February 15.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Tormented Soul


Blurb:
Erick McAlister is known as London’s Most Dangerous Bachelor; he enjoys scotch, women, and spending time in the London underground club The Skunk’s Den. He’s never had a real relationship, women only want him for one thing but he desires more. When the one he vowed he would never toy with, Lynn Westmore, gives him an unexpected proposition, his life takes an enjoyable turn.

Just as he is beginning to find happiness, tabloids headline him, a woman from his past announces she’s expecting his child, someone is trying to kill him, and he finds himself questioning his relationship with the young courier he’s hired to teach him to ride his new motorcycle. Even though his life is in torment, he begins to believe in love, something he never thought he’d feel. Unfortunately, Lynn doesn’t think Erick could ever be faithful to one woman, let alone be in love with her, so when she finds herself in love with him she runs.

Erick falls into a spiral of depression, and it takes his brother and closest friends to bring him to his senses. When he finds out a magazine has rated him as the World’s Most Dangerous Bachelor, he agrees to do the interview only if Lynn is the photographer and uses the opportunity to let Lynn know how he feels; he offers his heart to her one more time.


EXCERPT 1
“British Airways’ Flight 112 to New York will be boarding through gate sixty-five momentarily.”

Lynn quietly reached down and picked up her flight bag. She looked at the boarding pass in her hand. Funny that she didn’t feel like she was going home, but more like she was leaving home. This last trip had been so different from all the others and had taken an emotional toll on her. Perhaps an uneventful stay at her father’s would be just what she needed before returning to finish her photo shoot.

Erick McAlister reached out and adjusted the strap on her shoulder. He glanced toward the gate Lynn would be going through and noticed a young couple saying their good-byes. They spoke softly in between tender kisses, holding each other in a tight embrace. His black heart thudded in his chest. He wondered if that would ever be him; if he was capable of loving, or being loved.

His best friend, Andrew, had been a tormented soul like himself, and against odds found love and happiness with his sister, Elizabeth. Erick thought back to a time when he tasted the sweetness of comfort and contentment. Andrew had been determined to pay Elizabeth and Lynn a surprise visit at Hampton House and persuaded him and his brother Michael to join him.

Through Erick’s life, Lynn Westmore was the only woman to affect him like she did, and he didn’t like it. The night he was changed, he drank himself to oblivion to avoid his uneasy feelings. Unknown to him, his sister had put her best friend in his room during her stay. After retiring in a drunken state to his old bed, he woke in the morning with Lynn in his arms.

She had become a first of sorts. The first woman to sleep with him in his bed at Hampton House, the first to wake with him in the morning, and the first woman to share a bed and not be ravished. As tempting his lustful desires were that morning, he enjoyed the quiet conversation and her presence more than any sexual conquest. With Lynn he found a small piece of serenity he’d only dreamed of.

“Well, it’s almost time,” Lynn’s voice brought him back to the present. “I’ve been gone from the States so long; I hope I haven’t forgotten where I live.”

“Well if you can’t find it, Erick said, “you know you are always welcome at Hampton House. When did you say you will be back?”

“Some time in the spring; depends on the weather. I have a couple of locations I need to go back to. These books on English gardens are scheduled to go to press during the summer, so I have a time factor to work with.” She tilted her auburn head, her brown eyes sparkled, her smile teased. “Are you going to miss me?”

“Yes. I will.”

Lynn put her arms around his waist to give him a hug before she boarded. She felt his arms tighten around her and wondered what it would be like to be loved by him. She felt she could never compete with the beautiful women he surrounded himself with; he was just out of her league. She knew he was a man with worldly knowledge of women, a man capable of incredible passion; a man with such sexual prowess and confidence he would never find satisfaction in someone with her lack of experience.

Erick wanted the moment to last forever. He felt faint stirrings in his black heart. He had broken hearts and strained some marriages. Over the years his reputation grew as a lover, a prince of seduction and passion. To him, women couldn’t be trusted and were nothing but a sport. But he refused to get involved with Lynn because he couldn’t bear to hurt her. Lynn was too good of a person to be played with. He trusted her and her friendship.

He ran his hand up her back, along her neck and cupped her face. He looked deep into her eyes.

“Sweet Lynn,” his voice was a husky whisper. “These last few months have probably been the best as well as my worst. You have heard my secrets and you know of the monster that lives inside me, yet you’ve been a good friend to me. I want you to know I trust you as I would trust my own sister. Thank you.”

He caressed her cheek with his thumb. Her lips were so inviting. He remembered the shock he had felt when he kissed her on New Years Eve. Only a few days had passed and he still felt their heat. He dipped his head and brushed his lips across hers.



“Good bye, Lynn.” He pulled away from her. “Have a good flight.”

It took everything Lynn had to remain on her feet. On the inside, she shook head to toe, from his touch and his kiss. Looking into his green eyes, she saw sadness. She smiled as she bade him farewell, then turned toward her boarding gate.


What a lousy way to start the year, he thought. All alone. His best friend had married his sister over the holidays and they were honeymooning in the American Southwest. Lynn was gone. His father and brother would be leaving in a few days. Perhaps he should visit the Underground Clubs as soon as he returned to London and find someone to warm the cold winter nights. For some reason, the thought didn’t sound very appealing at the moment, but would surely change by the time he dressed in his favorite leathers and disappeared into the London night.




To celebrate, I'm giving away two special items this month.
A signed copy of Tormented Soul and a gift from my favorite store, Lover's Lane.

All you have to do is leave a comment on any post from Feb.1st until midnight the 14 th, the holiday for love... Valentine's Day .

Names will be placed into a drawing and the winner will be picked and announced on February 15.