Saturday, June 15, 2013

Pensive Thoughts

Grandma Kleinbriel said three crows flying together in the same direction is an omen of death. Twice this month I have seen this omen and the outcome the same. During times such as these, I often put my thoughts into a poem or they slip into my current work in progress and a character will suffer. 

I was feeling rather pensive today.  Several times I found myself pausing in deep thought.  A quiet mood involving little thought at times, but emotion toiled within me like a hurricane approaching the beach.  My contemplation was peppered with sadness without having a goal of complete understanding.  As I tried to put my thoughts into some form of order, I fought an endless battle and lost.

Pensive moods usually hit me just before the storm erupts in my head leaving a well plotted story in its wake.  This time there is more.  A feeling of preparing for a loss, a moment of saying goodbye.  Will it be that I'll create a sad ending?  Or will I be forced to say farewell to a favorite character? Hopefully neither. 

I love my characters like children, like friends, like ... well... they are a part of me.  Saying goodbye them is like waving to a friend who you might never hug again. 

I don't like saying goodbye to a character or a friend.  It makes my heart hurt.  I guess I'll continue being pensive until my muse tells me it's time to write.



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