I was feeling rather pensive today. Several times I found myself pausing in deep thought. A quiet mood involving little thought at times, but emotion toiled within me like a hurricane approaching the beach. My contemplation was peppered with sadness without having a goal of complete understanding. As I tried to put my thoughts into some form of order, I fought an endless battle and lost.
Pensive moods usually hit me just before the storm erupts in my head leaving a well plotted story in its wake. This time there is more. A feeling of preparing for a loss, a moment of saying goodbye. Will it be that I'll create a sad ending? Or will I be forced to say farewell to a favorite character? Hopefully neither.
I love my characters like children, like friends, like ... well... they are a part of me. Saying goodbye them is like waving to a friend who you might never hug again.
I don't like saying goodbye to a character or a friend. It makes my heart hurt. I guess I'll continue being pensive until my muse tells me it's time to write.