Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Things you should know if you are acquainted with a writer

(Yes, this is borrowed.  I think. I found this somewhere... don't have a clue...just found it in a saved file on my trusty laptop. But it is soooo me!)
My "Coffee Club" gals keep me sane. Love 'em all!
This post is dedicated to my poor friends who know me so well and still love me. 

Regarding anyone who will meet me or has recently become aquaintede with a writer,
 really needs to read this.

1. It's not that I'm anti-social. It's just that I'm currently writing at least three books in my head. It's hard to mentally outline and talk at the same time.

2. I'm not staring at your ear because I'm a stalker with a weird fetish. You just did something that gave me an idea for my WIP.

3. I'm not talking to myself. I'm PLOTTING.

4. I'm a grammar Nazi and you just slipped up. Yes…it will eat at me FOR HOURS.

5. Please don't reference any mainstream, highly successful novels unless you know for sure that they are free of typos and weak writing. And make sure there are no adverbs in it. Otherwise, you'll set off a literary hissy fit of epic proportions.

6. DO NOT talk to my about 50 Shades of Grey. See #5. If you insist on asking me, I'll tell you. Ad nauseum.


8. Yes, I'm neurotic. I'm a writer, duh. When have you ever met a sane writer?

9. Meet my delicate artist ego. Stroke it. Praise it. It will purr for you. Then it will cry. Then it will accuse you of being disingenuous. Then it will tell you to go to hell. Then it will beg you to like it. Then it will be aloof. Then it will curl itself into the fetal position and suck its thumb until you stroke it again.

10. Give me wine and chocolate. Whatever you said or did will be forgiven. I will name a character after you. I will dedicate my next book to your awesomeness.

11. Piss me off, I’ll put you in my book and kill you. If you are really my friend, you’ll do #10.

13. Yes, I write erotic romance and you want to know what about my personal life? Grab a bottle and we’ll talk. *wink, wink*

12.  Don't ask where I get my story ideas. How the crap should I know? It's not like I have a storage locker....
My oldest friends keep me crazy.

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