Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Pensive

I was feeling rather pensive today. Several times I found myself pausing in deep thought. A quiet mood involving little thought at times, but emotion toiled within me like a hurricane approaching the beach. My contemplation was peppered with sadness without having complete understanding. As I tried to put my thoughts into some form of order, I fought an endless battle and lost.

Pensive moods usually hit me just before the storm erupts in my head leaving a well plotted story in its wake. This time there is more. A feeling of preparing for a loss, a moment of saying goodbye. Will it be that I'll have a sad ending? Or be forced to say farewell to a favorite character.

I love my characters like children, like lovers, like ... well... as if they are a part of me. Saying goodbye is like waving to a friend who you might every touch again.

I don't like saying goodbye. It makes my heart hurt. I guess I'll continue being pensive until my muse tells me it's time to write.





"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."
~ Maya Angelou ~

2 comments:

Dawne Prochilo said...

I'm the same way Mary- I get such a deep attachment to my characters that when their story is done I feel as if something in MY life is missing. I feel their emotions and pain...sigh

Gerry said...

you can't kill them *LOL* .maybe a random character that they have intertwined with but not any of you main ones!