Humpday Help - Palm Reading

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," said Paul.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters."

Tasty Tuesday - Types of Chocolate

Mmm, we all know that rich, melt-in-the-mouth quality of good chocolate. That taste sensation comes from chocolate with a high percentage of cocoa butter. Chocolate can vary in quality, of course. Lower-quality chocolate includes other fats, which raise the product's melting point, and offer a less distinct flavor. Here's a quick guide to help you choose the perfect chocolate.

Baking Chocolate--best for cooking and baking.
Also called bitter or unsweetened chocolate, this type is hardened cocoa solids and cocoa butter with no added sugar. Since its taste is astringent, it's used primarily as a baking ingredient. Unsweetened chocolate contains 50 to 58 percent cocoa butter by weight.

Bittersweet Chocolate--best for baking, cooking, and eating.
Bittersweet chocolate is the darkest of all eating chocolates. It must contain at least 35 percent chocolate liquor. Bittersweet chocolate has a more pronounced chocolate taste because of its higher concentration of chocolate liquor and less sugar. Some premium bittersweet chocolate can have a cocoa butter and cocoa solid content of 70 percent or higher. It can be used in cooking and baking, as well as eaten for a treat.

Semisweet and Sweet Chocolate--best for baking, cooking, and eating.
Semisweet and sweet chocolate are similar to bittersweet but have a higher percentage of sugar and thus a sweeter taste. Their required chocolate liquor content is lower, averaging between 15 to 35 percent. Both kinds can also be used for cooking, as well as eaten as candy. Semisweet chocolate can usually be interchanged with bittersweet chocolate.

Milk Chocolate--best for eating.
Milk chocolate creates the sweet, creamy taste found in candy bars. Milk chocolate contains at least 12 percent dry milk solids and 10 percent chocolate liquor along with sugar and added cocoa butter. Milk chocolate is generally not used in baking or cooking, as its delicate flavor is easily overwhelmed by other ingredients. It's the favorite chocolate of most Americans, preferred over dark or semisweet varieties by two to one.

White Chocolate--best for baking, cooking, and eating. This variety is not "true" chocolate, since it contains no chocolate solids. However, it contains cocoa butter, the vegetable fat that gives chocolate its snap and luscious mouthfeel. When the cocoa butter is replaced with other, less expensive fats, it's no longer white chocolate: it's referred to as Almond Bark or confectioners' coating.

Couverture--best for baking and confections.
A glossy form of chocolate used by professional pastry chefs and chocolatiers, this chocolate contains a minimum of 32 percent cocoa butter, which allows it to flow more easily when it's melted and tempered. You'll find this type of higher-grade chocolate in professional pastry and cake supply shops, as well as high-end groceries and online. Both dark and milk chocolate couvertures are available. Cocoa Powder

--best for baking and beverages.
When most of the cocoa butter is removed from chocolate liquor, a dense cake forms. This is then ground into powder containing 10 to 22 percent cocoa butter. "Dutched" or Dutch Process cocoa is cocoa powder treated with an alkalizing agent such as baking soda to make it darker, less bitter, and more soluble in liquids.

Cocoa Nibs--best for baking.
Cocoa nibs are roasted and broken up cocoa beans, which have a very delicate chocolate flavor. They add crunch to cookies and are a delicious addition to shortbreads and other butter cookies.

Mojo Monday

~ Groucho Marx

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30.

Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Friday Photo

Here's a nice black and white photo of Ben Godfrey

Thursday Thirteen - 13 Tips on Romance for Him part 1

1. Tell her she is beautiful.

2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.

3. Hug her from behind.

4. Leave her voice or txt messages to wake up to.

5. Wrestle with her :)

6. don't go hang out with you ex when shes not with you, you might not relize how badly it hurts her.

7. If youre talking to another girl, when you're done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they aren't.

8.Write her notes or call her just to say "hi".

9.Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10. Play with her hair.

11. Pick her up (she loves it).

12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn't like it.

13. Make her laugh.

Be sure to visit Romance Writers Behaving Badly for a T13 on Mae West!