Humpday Help - All About Love

A city boy wanted to marry a country girl. She insists that he has to ask her father for her hand in marriage. So off he goes to their farm to ask her father. "I want to marry your daughter".

"Well, my boy you will have to prove to me that you are a man worthy of my daughter."

"I'll do anything for my love" says the young man.

"You see that cow out in the pasture? Well go screw it."

A little puzzled the boy says, "OK, anything for my love"

On his return of doing his deed, he asks, "Now can I marry your daughter?"

"Nope." says the father, "See that goat over yonder? Well, Go screw it."

Again the boy obliges and returns saying, "Now can I marry your daughter?"

"Nope. Not yet -- one more thing. See that pig in the sty? Well go to it."

Once again he obliges and returns. This time the farmer is amazed at seeing this boy doing these deeds just to marry his daughter.

So the father finally tells the boy, "Now you can marry my daughter."

To which the boy replies, "SCREW YOUR DAUGHTER, HOW MUCH YOU WANT FOR THAT PIG?"

Tasty Tuesday - Chocolate 101

Mmm, we all know that rich, melt-in-the-mouth quality of good chocolate. That taste sensation comes from chocolate with a high percentage of cocoa butter. Chocolate can vary in quality, of course. Lower-quality chocolate includes other fats, which raise the product's melting point, and offer a less distinct flavor.

Use the highest-quality chocolate and cocoa you can buy. Good chocolate has a glossy sheen and a smooth taste. Here's a quick primer on different varieties and their uses:

•Unsweetened (chocolate liquor): Made with about 50 percent cocoa butter, this is pure, unadulterated chocolate. Use it in cooking and baking, but don't bother eating it straight.

•Bittersweet: Made by adding cocoa butter, sugar, and vanilla to chocolate liquor, bittersweet chocolate has a dark, rich taste. Use it in baking.

•Semisweet: This variety is made the same way as bittersweet, but with more sugar. A classic for chocolate chip cookies.

•Milk chocolate: Sweet and creamy, this chocolate is made with milk solids, which give it its light color. For some people, milk chocolate is a clear winner over dark.

•White chocolate: Because it's made with cocoa butter and not chocolate liquor, white chocolate isn't strictly chocolate. Use it in baking, but don't expect a chocolatey taste--it's sweet and mild.

Humpday Help - Is It Love?

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad??
Then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong??
Then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
Then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you there??
Then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are??
Then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
Then it's love.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?

This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?

The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well.

Friday Photo

You gotta smile with Aaron Brumfield.

Humpday Help - Romance, Scottish Style

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stonewall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.

For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh, I was thinkin' ... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.

The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

Minutes passed, then the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

"Well, uh I was thinkin' ... perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."

The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.

Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.

After a while, she again said, "Another penny for your thoughts! Angus."

"Well, uh I was thinkin' ... perhaps its aboot time you let me pewt ma hand on yer leg."

The girl blushed, then took his hand and put it on her knee.

Then he blushed.

Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch before the girl spoke again.

"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."

The young man glanced down with a furled brow. "Well, noo," he said, "My thoughts are a wee bit more serious this time."

"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.

"Aye," said the lad, nodding.

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush, and bit her lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.

And he said, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me the first three pennies?

Tasty Tuesday - French Silk Chocolate Pie

Ingredients
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
3/4 cup white sugar
2 (1 ounce) squares unsweetened baking chocolate, melted and cooled
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 eggs
1 prepared 8 inch pastry shell, baked and cooled


Directions
1.Cream butter in a mixing bowl. Gradually beat in the sugar with an electric mixer until light colored and well blended. Stir in the thoroughly cooled chocolate, and vanilla extract. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating 5 minutes on medium speed after each addition. Spoon the chocolate filling into a cooled, baked pie shell.
2.Refrigerate at least 2 hours before serving.

Friday Photo

Okay, ladies, here's your bad boy cowboy, Franco Bcorelli.

Humpdy Help - Moonlit Night

A young woman and young man were at the beach one moonlit night. They were lying there looking at the night sky in each other's arms.

The young man looked over and asked the young lady, "If you could be on any planet up there, just you and I, which one would you want it to be?"

The young woman lies there for a minute staring up and thinks and then replies, "I think it would be Venus, it sounds like a place of romance."

She then turns to him and asks him the same question.

He lies there and with a sly smile replies, "Uranus."

Tasty Tuesday - Deep Dish Brownies

My all-time favorite, make-from-scratch brownies recipe!

Ingredients
3/4 cup butter, melted
1 1/2 cups white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 eggs
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt


Directions
1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease an 8 inch square pan.
2.In a large bowl, blend melted butter, sugar and vanilla. Beat in eggs one at a time. Combine the flour, cocoa, baking powder and salt. Gradually blend into the egg mixture. Spread the batter into the prepared pan.
3.Bake in preheated oven for 40 to 45 minutes, or until brownies begin to pull away from the sides of the pan. Let brownies cool, then cut into squares. Enjoy!

Sinful Saturday - tickle me

I had to post this one. I couldn't stop laughing. Serious Ziggy Stardust lace-up arm sleeves feature black faux leather accented with metal grommets and lacing on one side accented with feathers around the cuff. Can be worn alone or as an accent for a top/shirt. Velcro closure. Unisex.

I think I'll run out and pick this little number up.